Wednesday, 25 July 2012

A little less creative

Instead of showing you what I've been making recently, I thought I'd explain a little about why I haven't been making things...


I suffer from depression.... it's not something I'm ashamed of.  I was diagnosed over 4 years ago.  About 2 years ago I had a terrible relapse, and I've been on medication ever since.


As time has gone on, I've got happier. My life has changed radically, I've changed job, moved house twice, moved half-way across the county once, and met, and got engaged to the most wonderful man.  


Several months ago, under the supervision of my GP, I decided to see if it was time for me to come off my anti-depressants.  It wasn't a decision I rushed to, but unless you try these things, you never know if you can cope without the pills.

So... I reduced my dose by 25%, and took that for a month, then I reduced by another 25% and took that for a month.  I was really proud of my progress.... and 5 weeks ago, I reduced by 25% again, so now taking a quarter of the medication I was.... and I've not been feeling too great.  I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning, I didn't have the energy and enthusiasm to go out and enjoy life... and most tragically of all, I didn't have the urge to create.  It's horrible.  I am now back taking a higher dose, and I'm feeling more of my sparkle return.  I even started some beading last night.

I am putting this out there so people can see that there is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to depression.  If it was any other organ that was imbalanced, people would have no issues talking about it or taking medication to help... but because it's the brain, there is a stigma attached to it by some people.



I am not proud of the fact that I suffer from depression, but I do not hide the fact.  At the moment, I need medication to help me with my daily life, but that won't always be the case.  Pretty soon, I'll be back to my usual self, beading, crocheting, designing... and having fun.

8 comments:

  1. So glad you were able to come down as far as you did, and VERY glad you decided to go back up when you felt the need. I hope that you are back to you in no time!! xxxxxxxx

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    1. I have been smiling and giggling a little in the last two days, which is real progress. A nice weekend camping in my tee-pee should do the rest! :)

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  2. So glad you found the dosage that is right for you. My mom and I were just having this conversation yesterday, that we have to be smart for ourselves, that drs. don't see us as much as they used to, or in the same way.Much love and hugs!

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    1. It is very difficult to know what to do and when - you need people around you who will honestly tell you if you're more withdrawn etc. Thankfully, I have wonderful support.
      Good luck x

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  3. Totally agree with Nancy!!! You know I think that in this day and time life just comes at us too fast, too much to download, and compress our files!! No shame at all in getting a little boost...I think there are far more out there getting a little help than you think!! ;)

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    1. Thanks for being a fabulous friend! :)

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  4. Hi, I like your blog and ran into this post. I also love beading, but have issues with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I tried going off my medication again last summer and found that it wasn't my best option. Good for you for making sure to be under care while attempting to go off, and for getting back on when you realized you needed it.
    Thanks for blogging!

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    1. Thanks for your lovely comment - I'm sorry I only just discovered it!

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